Gone on a Lucky Country

Now that we've been back in Sydney for a couple of weeks, it almost feels like our holiday to the States never even happened.  The build-up to the trip was intense - creating packing lists, buying souvenirs and generally worrying too much about what it would be like being back.  I've heard a lot of ex-pats talk about their first trip back and there seems to be an almost unanimous agreement that it is a very big deal.  There are a lot of emotional issues inside of that first visit - do you still fit in, are you homesick for your original home, are you homesick for your ex-pat home etc....

I can't lie - I was so nervous...  I was excited to see my family again; but I was mostly afraid of going back, realising that I missed it too much and then coming back to Australia completely miserable and homesick.  I have been lucky up to this point on the homesickness front - not that it hasn't happened; but that it seems to happen infrequently and be very low-grade when it does.

Anyway, the visit was great... There was lots that felt weird and lots that we seemed to just fall right back in to.  Being back in the States did make me realise how much I had been missing; but hadn't admitted to myself.  I really miss driving...  I love that we use public transport here; but I miss the ease of getting places easily, quickly and on my own timetable.  I also miss the ease of driving - I've driven here; but it has not been a fun experience...  Being on the wrong side of the car throws off what little spatial understanding I have and both of my driving experiences here have left me shaken and teary as I narrowly avoid being side swiped the whole time. So, while we were back on our holiday, I was finding any excuse possible to drive - it just was so effortless and enjoyable.

I also missed the prices and the ease of shopping - it's easier to drive to stores, they are bigger, it's cheaper and the customer service is unparalleled.  So yeah, I miss those things a lot...

I was really looking forward to eating certain types of food that I missed and that part was very disappointing to me.  Nothing tasted quite like I remembered and nothing tasted as good as the food here in Sydney.  Except burgers....  They were amazing and promptly reminded me why I don't order burgers here in Australia - they just can't quite seem to get them right.

Anyway, the last two nights before we left to come back to Australia, I got really really homesick.  Crying myself to sleep homesick - which is exactly what happened to me when we originally moved here.  It passed, and by the time we left for the airport on our last day, I was only looking forward to coming back here to Sydney.  Isn't that interesting?  Crying for one home and yet looking forward to returning to your other home...

I guess if I learned anything from this trip, it's that you can have two homes and you can love them both so much that you can miss each one when you are gone from it.  I learned that Sydney has become my home over this past year and that, regardless of my "ishews", I don't want to leave it.

Coming out of customs and into the Sydney airport proper are these banners.  One says, "Welcome to Sydney" and that's the one I was excited to see when we moved here.  Look more closely though, and you will see that they next one says "Gday, Welcome Home".  That's the one that I was most excited to see on this trip because I felt like it had finally come true for me.

If you look more closely, you will see a Christmas tree as well, which is a dead give-away to the fact that this is actually not my picture.  I stole it from the interwebs because I never have enough hands free to actually snap a picture at any time during a trip - let along a 26 hour, 4 layover trip.

The upshot of all this is:  I love my family, I love the US and I miss all of them all the time. I also love Sydney, I love my husband and I love our life here - so parting from one to go back to the other isn't as hard as I thought it would be.

Well, we are sitting here in a little bar in the LA airport waiting for our flight to Sydney.  It was a very tearful morning saying goodbye to people on the phone and especially saying goodbye to Joe's parents in the airport.  We got to the gate only to find that the first leg of our trip was delayed!!  It ended up being delayed for so long that we would be unable to make our connecting flight in Detroit; and, the desk agent informed us that the next two flights to LA were booked full!!  AGH!!!  So, we continued checking with her (she was so nice) and she finally told us that there were two first class seats available on the 5:15 flight to LA.  She booked us into them and the rest of our travels went without much of a hitch at all.  The first class seats were wonderful and it was nice to have at least one leg of the trip that was super comfy. 

The desk agent at Quantas was so nice - didn't charge us for our one overweight bag and also booked us into exit row seats so that we will have extra room.  We have neck pillows, eye masks, ear plugs, books, movies, ipods, laptops.... oh, and sleeping pills.  So, hopefully the 15 hours will go by pretty quickly!

This whole trip has been an experience in absolute, complete exhaustion.  I can't remember a time when I have ever been this tired.  I haven't been sleeping well for the past week or so anyway and last night I only got a few hours.  So, we have been up since early this morning - it's 1:30 in the morning EST now and we are going to try to stay awake the first 7 hours of the flight so that we can sleep the last 8 and be somewhat on Sydney time when we land at 7 in the morning.  We'll see how that all pans out.  It's feeling a little more real now - there are Australian accents around us everywhere at this gate and I am starting to wrap my brain around the fact that we are not coming back.

I had a little cry in bed last night and then saying goodbye today - I'm only sad about saying goodbye to people I love, I am not regretting the move.  At least for now.....

Today was full of lasts:

Last Pedicure at V-Spa nails - went with my Mother-in-law, got polka dots, fun for all...

Last shopping trip to Kroger - Quick, sad...

Last American money spent - at Kroger, a buck fifty from the bottom of my purse.  Now all I have left is Aussie money.

Last day of occupancy in my home house - sweaty, exhausting and not as sad as I thought it would be.

Last time driving a car on the right side of the road (or at all since we aren't planning to buy one in Australia) - freeing... worried about the whole relying on public transit thing.

Last time I made payments on some bills - making the final payment on stuff is the best feeling in the world!

Last prescription filled in the states (without insurance) - very expensive!!

Last dinner sitting around with Mom and Dad - Yummy wild turkey tenders, bittersweet.

Last trip to Graeter's  - Sweet, funny.

Well, the clothes are laid out, the suitcases are packed and I don't think I could be any more prepared if I had another week.  I'm not sure if we are ready; but we certainly are prepared!  Please pray for safe travels for us over the next three days (that even sounds insane doesn't it?) and hopefully I'll have an update once we land!

It's one in the morning here in Kentucky so technically I am writing this on Tuesday.  That means that we leave for Australia tomorrow. 

It's hard to describe how I feel about this whole thing.  "Unreal" might be a good word?  There is a numbness that is protecting me from the intense emotions that a move this big must have attached to it.  It probably helps that we have been so incredibly busy getting ready for the move.  We start early and roll into bed late, exhausted.  The reality of this move is all around me - we are staying at my in laws, I give the keys to the our renters today, there are 5 very large suitcases by the front door, we have an actual address in Sydney, we have 2 actual phone numbers in Sydney and we leave tomorrow.

It feels a little like going on a very long vacation and I don't know how long it is going to take once we are there before the reality of the move will hit me...

This is the last night in our home
This is the last night in our home
This is the last night in our home
This is the last night in our home
This is the last night in our home

Unfortunately, saying it over and over doesn't make it feel any more real...

Of all the things about moving to another continent, another country – the thing that is bothering me the most right now is leaving my house. I love the transformation that takes place as you live somewhere. You begin by needing to try every light switch before you find the right one, waking up to all the creaks and noises a house makes when it settles down for the night and feeling like a stranger inside of the unfamiliar walls. There is always a moment (invariably in the middle of the night) when you realize that you have just gone to the bathroom, gotten a new roll of toilet paper from the linen closet, let the dog out, got a drink in the kitchen and straightened all the cushions in the living room all completely in the dark. You know this place – every creak on every stair, every oddly shaped shadow… You have a moment where you acknowledge that your house just became your home.

I’ve lived in many places throughout my life. I lived in a dining room with curtains for door, I slept in an armchair for a couple weeks and I have even slept in my car. Even though I’ve moved a dozen times and had multiple apartments/living arrangements, I have only ever had two “homes”. My childhood home held a million happy memories – even the trees in the woods had special stories and memories attached to them. After Mom died and we had to sell the house, I was able to visit it for one last time. It was completely empty and it had been repainted. I felt very little sadness walking through each room… It was just a shell - just a house. Once you took my parents and their things out of that house it ceased to be a home.

I was immediately on a mission to recreate that feeling of history, that feeling of roots dug deep. I was only 24 when I closed on my house. I walked into that conference room with a fresh pen and proceeded to sign my name over and over on what felt like hundreds of papers. It was the most important thing I had done in my life up to that point. (Soon to be eclipsed by getting married) This home was filled with a mix of mine, his, my parents, his parents and mostly ours. It’s been very very hard seeing our things sold, packed and given away. The rooms are eerily empty and I am starting to not recognize my home anymore.

It’s equally hard (if not harder) to imagine other people’s things in places where mine always were. What I have always referred to as the “back bedroom” was always meant for a nursery. Every time I walked into that room I pictured a crib, a rocker, a baby… Someone else is turning that room into a nursery for their little baby now and when I walk in I feel an absolute sadness.

Maybe it’s time to just start thinking of it as just a house again… instead of My Home…

Friday was my last day at work...  It was weird - I actually did a lot of work, got called into an impromtu meeting for an hour (all though, really, it wasn't surprising) and did a lot more work after that.  My manager got me a beautiful engraved clock with my initials and my last day of work on it.  I only cried a very little and I was very proud of myself for not bawling like a baby the whole time.  I had to rush out of work though, to make it to Eden Park in time to meet my family for round 3? 4? (I've lost track!) of saying goodbye.


What a beatiful view!  I am going to miss Kentucky so very much...




My sister Annmarie (she of the collapsible basket and photo frame noteriety) was in town for a wedding so she and her family planned a lovely picnic afternoon for us and also my sister Theresa and brother Andrew.  I'm not sure why I'm the only one wearing sunglasses in this picture - I ended up looking like the odd man out!

Last Thursday Joe and I headed over to my brother Matt's house to visit with his family and also to see my sister Theresa and my brother Andrew.  We just sat on the couch, drank beers and talked; but we had so much fun that we didn't leave until close to midnight.  I was sad to go; but we made plans to do dinner this Saturday.  The highlight of the evening was Lilia, reading the same book over and over - talking to it, petting it, kissing it.....  Completely Adorable!!

I know I've been tantalizing you with this whole surprise thing; but I assure you there was no one more curious than me!  Well, my surprise was a lovely farewell dinner/girls night out that my friend Amanda planned for me.  It was completely wonderful seeing everyone all in one place - the margaritas were pretty awesome too!




Thanks again guys - It was really so fabulous to see you all!!


I'll miss all of you to absolute bunches!

Well, my super secret surprise that I posted about here has been changed from Saturday to tonight...  I have to leave work at 5:30, run home to get ready and then Joe needs to have me back up in Florence by 7.  I was told not to eat dinner.  I'm taking my camera so I can document whatever the heck this thing is!  Wish  me luck!

Well, all of our applications and paperwork have been submitted. Certificates and letters have been certified, notarized, stamped and scanned. Hopefully, all of the information is correct and our application will go through quickly and with no hold-ups. Now begins the waiting….


I can’t book our flights until I know the VISA is approved so I am anxiously checking the prices and worrying about the fares going up. I also can’t file for a Tax File ID Number (the Aussie equivalent of a SS#) until I have the VISA approval. Without the Tax File #, I cannot open a bank account there and transfer money & Joe can’t work. So, I am just a little (who am I kidding?) worried about how all of this is going to fall into place.

Monday was a subdued, sad morning as I packed up and got ready for the trip back.  We made plans to meet our friend Julie in Columbus for lunch at 2 so we had to leave Cleveland by noon. Theresa came over with the kids to say goodbye (but not for good as she will be in Cincinnati to see us before we leave) so I got a chance to give everyone hugs goodbye!  Plus I got to watch Evan have his morning AppleJacks - Yum!










































My sister Julie's daughter Gianna had told her mom that morning how sad she was that she didn't get to say a final goodbye to us (We came in late the night before and she had already gone to school when we woke up) so we decided to stop at her school and say goodbye to her before we got on the road.  When I hugged Julie goodbye, I realized I wouldn't be seeing her till Christmas and that this was really goodbye.  The tears started and the situation didn't improve much once we got to Gianna's school.  I was doing OK until I realized that Gianna's little eyes were tearing up a bit and then the tears hit again. I'm still not sure how I made it out of the building; but my poor husband had to put up with my sniffling halfway to Columbus.

We met up with Julie at Buca di Beppo (I had never been there and I was surprised at how yummy it was) and having lunch with her made me feel lots better.  I made her promise that she would visit us in Australia next year and I am holding her to it!  This is us after I spent the morning crying and after 2 glasses of wine:



The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful.  We rolled into Joe's parent's house around 6:30 where I promptly fell asleep on the couch till dinner.  Then home, with the doggy, to unpack and get ready for the week.
This is the doggy for those of you who haven't met him:



It was really a great trip and I am so glad that we made the time to go for four days.  It was horribly sad at the end and I dont' think that I am quite over the reality of having to say goodbye; but I still had a wonderful time...

Sunday morning we met Cory and Violet for breakfast over at My Friends by Detroit and 130th.  That brought back memories of staying at Jen's apartment just upstairs from the restaurant and memories of countless 2 AM meals there with friends.  They've remodeled since I was there last so it was a little weird; but, for all that, it was very much the same.  I guess it started the whole melancholy that tinged the rest of our visit.  I am not just saying good bye to people... I am also saying goodbye to places that hold memories of whole years of my life. 

On the way back to Julie's house, Joe and I stopped at Heinens to get the fixings for dinner.  I love that store!  We ended up getting the ingredients for lasagna, 2 bottles of wine (mmm... Smoking Loon Cabernet), sparkling lemonade for the kids and some garlic bread.

Theresa and the kids came over and I got to spend the afternoon doing one of my favorite things - Cooking with my sisters.  We had a fantastic dinner and Theresa brought the leftover desserts from the night before so we capped it off with more rum cake parfaits.  Joe and I had plans that night that ended up getting cancelled so we decided to drive down to Tremont and have a couple drinks.  After getting lost and disoriented several times, we finally found Literary & Professor streets, parked and wandered into The Treehouse.  They had a great blues singer there and the whole scene was very mellow.  I've always loved the gorgeous bar:

My brother Andrew called and since he lives in Tremont, he stopped over after work to have a beer with us.  That was the frosting on the evening and I am so glad that he decided to stop in and hang out with us!

On Saturday morning my sister Julie made us pancakes (are you seeing a delicious theme here?) and we spent the morning relaxing.  We headed out to Bay Village in the early afternoon to visit my friend Lysa from the wayback days of when we used to work at PSAS.  I also got to see her husband Chris whom I haven't seen since they were dating and I got to meet her son JR.  What a cutie and what a personality!!

We pulled in the driveway, I got out of the car and he ran to me yelling "Mimi!".  Did I mention that this little boy had never met me before?  His mom said that he never ever does that for people he doesn't know (even more proof that I am "The Baby Whisperer").  We had a wonderful time visiting and reminiscing about old times...

Then we headed over to my sister Theresa's house for a big family dinner.  True to form, the food was incredible and tasted just like Mom's - fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, homemade biscuits, salad; and, of course, the most incredible deserts you could even imagine!  There were 3 kinds of homemade cookies and these wonderful parfaits with rum cake, whipped cream and caramel sauce (all homemade of course)... My mouth waters every time I think about these parfaits.



The best part of the whole evening was having such a huge chunk of the family together in one place.  In attendance were: My sister Theresa, her husband Marco, their kids - Stella, Luca and Lilia, my sister Julie, her husband Dave, their kids - Gianna, Evan and one in the oven, my brother Andrew and us!  It was a full house and it was the highlight of the trip.  Here are some of my favorite snaps from the evening:





After such a great day though - who cares!

Joe and I travelled to Cleveland last weekend to visit and say goodbye to some family and friends.  We drove in Thursday night and basically rolled right into bed.  Friday morning my lovely sister Julie made us some muffins and we got to sit and visit.  My brother in law Dave went out on the deck and called us out to see about a half dozen deer in the woods behind their house. Several were still very young - you could see that their spots were growing out.  After they all wandered away we noticed one that was hanging around down by the creek.  It was a mom and her two tiny babies that had obviously just been born the night before.  I was able to get some OK shots:



And one really good one:

Well, Joe is turning in his letter of resignation this afternoon at work.  Up to this point, we could really turn our plans around and back-out of the move; but, after today, we are truly committed.

Truly Committed......

The Definition for committed is:  "bound or obligated, as under a pledge to a particular cause, action, or attitude."

We turn in our VISA application to the migration officials tomorrow morning (which is actually tonight for us).

Here we go....

Joe and I went to Cleveland this past weekend to visit with and say good bye to family and friends.  There will be more in-depth description and pictures of the weekend coming as I get the photos sorted out.

I don't think that the idea of us moving to a foreign country has entirely sunk in for me.  I think about it... I talk about it; but I don't think I really understand what we are doing.  This weekend brought reality right to my door as I said goodbye to people that I probably won't be seeing for years. I left Cleveland in a flurry of tears that lasted almost to Columbus.  In my head I kept asking myself "Why are we doing this?"

When I talk about my sadness, people are fond of telling me "At least this isn't forever". Of course I know it isn't forever!  For goodness sake, Joe and I are planning a visit back to the States for the Christmas holidays.  Knowing that I will still see people doesn't make me feel any better though.  I'm still sad....

I think I will call this pre-homesickness....